This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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