This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
