she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
