are you so shy because you have an std?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
