im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
