i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
