it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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