She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
