dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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