i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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