Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
