i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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