You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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