you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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