Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just found puke in my bra..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
