boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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