I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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