so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
