There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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