and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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