Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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