Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
