I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
