idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
