Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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