I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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