A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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