you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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