I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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