I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
