his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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