Taylor Swift is so right about you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im six kinds of drunk right now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
