He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
