worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
