So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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