Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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