Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Green mimosas i think yes
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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