is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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