so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
