are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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