He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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