shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize