He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
