I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
