My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
