Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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