Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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