Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
