i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
