some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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